The death of my sister-in-law has left me empty. I recently visited with her a few weeks back on my way back from New York. It was after her cancer surgery, and she looked great. She had come out of her colon operation with great results. Now she’s gone. Perhaps she made a deal with God to take her instead of her son who is dealing with a more severe case of cancer. We’ll never know.
Now we’re on our way to Maryland for her funeral. While it isn’t a pleasant trip, I know that it will provide closure for all of us. We left early in the morning on Friday and with traffic arrived in time to attend a late viewing. It was amazing to see how many people came out to pay their respect and all the flowers they sent. She was truly loved and it was consoling to know that my brother had so many people reaching out to help, to give their support, their friendship. It was all part of the healing process.
My MD buddies, Rudy and Regina, were there for me. We ended the night having dinner with them and couldn’t help realize that we’ve reached the age where those we’ve counted on being in our lives aren’t guaranteed. So we have to make the most of what we have and have at it as much as possible.
The funeral was on Saturday and while we’re told to celebrate their life and the life after, it’s still hard to say goodbye. Our little family came together as we were surrounded by many friends of the family. We left knowing that my brother and his kids and grandkids would be okay because that’s the way Marlene would have wanted it.
Before we headed back to South Carolina, my hubby wanted to stop in to say hello to his twin brother and family. It has been a while since we visited, especially for me. We were reminded one more time of life’s limits as his brother is facing cancer as well in his prostrate. While this is a form of cancer that doctor’s have had great success it still humbles you to know that it’s in control. But they looked comfortable in their home, their lives and we know they will get through this illness together and we’ll be there if they need us.
We arrived home at 2 a.m. as I wanted to keep going to get back to some normalcy. It was truly a draining experience and so I rested. This was the first Sunday in a long time that I didn’t bike, I didn’t count calories, and I simply felt sad. I was grieving. We each accept death differently and after this down time, I feel okay to move forward. I’ve made my peace with fate.